You know how Christmas is so happy that it makes people sad?
You know how Love Actually is all around but that movie is so sad at the end with the lonely Scottish manager? And Bill Nighy is so mean to him, but then changes his mind, thank god.
(And WHY did Laura Linney have to choose her brother over Hot Italian Carl? Why not both?
And why did stupid Kiera Knightly kiss her husband’s best friend who was in love with her? What is her problem? And why did he film just her at her wedding?! They are really dumb. Where was that husband? Also I love that Dido song.
Did anything happen after Alan Rickman gave the necklace to the sly sexy secretary? (The one who wore DEVIL EARS to a Christmas Party!?) (The one whose underwear scene was burned into my 15 year old brain as “I must be that skinny“. Why did I need to be as skinny as the sly sexy secretary?)
And why did arguably the best story have to include a slow-mo of the Portuguese girl taking of her dress to jump in the lake to save Colin Firth’s loose leaf book manuscript?! Was a I fooled? Was she actually a manic pixie dream girl who existed only to help sad Colin Firth not be so sad and also to clean his house? Do they ever actually talk in the future? Or only look at each other and drink tea?
The sex body doubles may have actually had the best love story.
And poor, wonderful Emma Thompson with her Joni Mitchell and her octopus-and-lobster-costumed children.)
ANYWAY THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT LOVE ACTUALLY.
This post is actually about why people are sad at Christmas. This is I think why:
Santa Claus. You know what I am talking about. We are now wired to be set up for disappointment. “Where’s the magic?! Where’s the MAGICCC!?! Is that something on my roof I hear? Just a fallen tree? UGH. CHRISTMAS!”.
Happiness. The happiness at christmas is too much for people to take, so they just get sad. Everyone is happy. You are sad. We can’t live up to the happiness we see on tv. We can’t deal with the happiness we imagine all other people are experiencing. EVERYONE MUST BE HAPPIER THAN ME. I SHOULD BE SO MUCH HAPPIER THAN I AM RIGHT NOW.
Loneliness. Nobody is lonely at Christmas except you. That is the worst part. You are the loneliest person. You actually have all these people all around you but you are STILL mopey and lonely. 1, I blame this partially on businesses marketing impossible-standards-holiday-cheer. You can never ever get your holiday cheer to the Kay commercial level, not that you should want to. Every kiss does not and should not begin with Kay. And, 2, I blame this partially on you.
Expensive. IF you are doing Christmas right, and making it about other people… it is expensive. So if you are already poor, you’re probably already sad about that, and now you are even more sad and stressed. Presents. Outfits. Travel. Texting Gloves. Wines. Cakes. Chocolate Santas. $$$$$$$$.
Selfish. Christmas makes me feel selfish. So I imagine I can’t be the only one. I hope.
Gifts. I should probably take up knitting and start giving people lots of lumpy gifts that they don’t really want. But it is the hours-put-in that counts! You must like this scarf I made! My mom used to buy Whole Foods pound cakes and repackage them and give them out pretending she made them for people.
It is cold. People hate the cold. People are depressed in the cold. I was born in a blizzard so I can handle it, but… everyone else hates it. It is also dark, and people hate the dark.
Decorations. Why does beauty have to come from so much pain? Why are the lights so tangled and temperamental? Why are the fake tree needles so painful on my fingers when putting it all back together from the box in the attic? Why is the real tree giving me allergies? Why does my mom still put straw and (what looks like) taxidermy birds on her christmas tree?
Alcohol. Alcohol is happy. Alcohol is sad. Alcohol gives me headaches no matter what. You drink to fall asleep. I drink and I can’t sleep at all. Also eggnog is weird.
So there you have it. I have no cure for these problems, I am only pointing them out.
What I will say, is that Christmas is the perfect time to be dramatic. Everything is beautiful and dark and cold. The music is gorgeous and your face is freezing – it is the perfect time to reward yourself for putting yourself out in the elements for a 2 minute walk. It is GREAT. Great and sad and great.
And even if it turns out everything else in the movie is messed up, the Love Actually score music is really good. (Glasgow Love Theme!? Anyone? The PORTUGUESE Love Theme?! And the other one? The Prime Minister one!?)